"Throughout the centuries, mothers have been given ..." joke

Throughout the centuries, mothers have been given their children plenty of good advice and notable quotes. Here`s just a small humorous sampling:PAUL REVERE`S MOTHER: "I don`t care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!"MARY,MARY, QUITE CONTRARY`S MOTHER: "I don`t mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?"MONA LISA`S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that`s the biggest smile you can give us?"HUMPTY DUMPTY`S MOTHER: "Humpty, If I`ve told you once, I`ve told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!"COLUMBUS`S MOTHER: "I don`t care what you`ve discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!"BABE RUTH`S MOTHER: "Babe, how many times have I told you -- quit playing ball in the house! That`s the third broken window this week!"MICHELANGELO`S MOTHER: "Mike, can`t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"NAPOLEON`S MOTHER: "All right, Napoleon. If you aren`t hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!"CUSTER`S MOTHER: "Now, George, remember what I told you -- don`t go biting off more than you can chew!"ABRAHAM LINCOLN`S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can`t you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"BARNEY`S MOTHER: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you`re starting to look a little purple."MARY`S MOTHER: "I`m not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."BATMAN`S MOTHER: "It`s a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?"GOLDILOCKS`S MOTHER: "I`ve got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"LITTLE MISS MUFFET`S MOTHER: "Well, all I`ve got to say is if you don`t get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room there`ll be a lot more spiders around here!"ALBERT EINSTEIN`S MOTHER: "But, Albert, it`s your senior picture. Can`t you do something about your hair? Styling gel,mousse, something...?"GEORGE WASHINGTON`S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"JONAH`S MOTHER: "That`s a nice story, but now tell me where you`ve really been for the last three days."SUPERMAN`S MOTHER: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we`ve decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?"THOMAS EDISON`S MOTHER: "Of course I`m proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"No claim of the authenticity of any of these quotes is made!

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