"Tickets to Pittsburg" joke
Three priests were in the train station wanting to return home to Pittsburg. The agent at the ticket counter was an amazingly gorgeous, extremely well-endowed, young woman. The priests were all too embarrased to approach her, so they drew straws to see which one would go up and purchase the tickets.
The first priest approached the window. "Hello, young lady," he began. "I would like to purchase two pickets to Titsburg... " whereupon he immediately lost his composure and fled.
The second priest approached the window. "I wish to purchase three tickets to Pittsburg," he began, "and I'd like the change in nipples and dimes." Realizing what he had just said, he immediately turned on his heels and fled.
The third priest then approached the window. "Young lady," he began, "I would like to purchase three tickets to Pittsburg and I'd like the change in nickels and dimes, please. I must say," he continued, "if you insist on dressing in that manner, when you arrive at the Pearly Gates, St. Finger is going to shake his peter at you."
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