"Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes Benz" joke
On a golf tour in Newfoundland, Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes Benz into a gas station in a remote part of the island.
The attendant at the pump greets him in a typical Newfoundland manner, completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.
"Mornin' bye" says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.
As he does so, two tees fall out out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
"What are dey den, son?" asks the attendant.
"They're called tees" replies Tiger.
"Well, what on de good earth are dey for?" inquires the Newfie.
"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving" says Tiger.
"Freeckin Jaysus" says the Newfie, "Dem boys at Mercedes tink of everything".
Your mamas so old, that when i told her to act her age she dropped dead!!!
Your mamas so fat it takes a train and two busses just to get on her good side
Your momma is so fat when she fell in the grand canyon she got stuck half way down.