"Time To Diet" joke

You Know It's Time To Diet When....
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You dance and it makes the band skip.

You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live.

You put mayonnaise on an aspirin.

You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts.

Your driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side."

You ran away and they had to use all four sides of the milk carton for your picture.

You learn you were born with a silver shovel in your mouth.

You could sell shade.

You need an appointment to attend an' open house'.