"To all my friends, thanks" joke

To all my friends, thanks to you all for sending me chain letters in 2003. This is what happened to me:I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the hormones they contain may turn me gay. I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing more than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonald's can sell their "all white meat" McNuggets and Big Macs.I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.I think I'm turning gay because when I go out, I don't look at any one, no matter how hot he is, for fear that he will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.I also donated all my savings to the "Amy Bruce" account. Remember? She was a sick girl who was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times? Amazing girl! She's been 7 since 1993! I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I wrote expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail tracking program.My Ericsson phone never arrived. Neither did the passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland or my coupons for free meals at Applebee's and Outback.But I am positive that all this is the cause of a stinking chain that I broke or forgot to follow and I got

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