"Top Ten Reasons to Re-assess Your Relationship With Your Computer" joke

You've decided to stay in college for an extra year or two for the free internet access.
Your family always knows where to find you.
You don't laugh in real life conversations, you just say LOL, LOL.
You use smileys in your snail mail.
You can't correspond with your family/friends because they don't have a computer.
You laugh at people with 56K modems.
You write 'com' after every period at the end of a sentence.
You feel depressed when your email box shows 'no new messages'.
You feel like you've pulled the plug on a loved one when you shut down your computer.
After waking up to go to the bathroom, you stop to check your email on the way back to bed.

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