"True Cricket Commentary Lines" joke

With the World Cup 2007 coming up shortly, you will find more cricket related features on my site.
Yorkshire 232 all out, Hutton ill - I'm sorry, Hutton 111. - John Snagge, BBC News
He's usually a good puller - but he couldn't get it up that time. - Richie Benaud, Channel 9
In the back of Hughes' mind must be the thought that he will dance down the piss and mitch one. - Tony Greig, Channel 9
It was close for Zaheer, Lawson threw his hands in the air and Marsh threw his head in the air.- Jack Potter, 3UZ
Chappell just stood on his feet and smashed it to the boundary. - Jim Maxwell, ABC Radio
I think we are all slightly down in the dumps after another loss. We may be in the wrong sign... Venus may be in the wrong juxtaposition with somewhere else. - Ted Dexter, explaining away England's seventh successive Test loss, to Australia at Lord's, 1993
Playing against a team with Ian Chappell as a captain turns cricket match into gang warfare. - Mike Brearley, 1980
Yorkshire legend Brian Close's advice to his team as Gary Sobers came in to bat: Right lads: this guy's a left hander".
One from the ABC box: Jim Maxwell: "The sight of Bright holds no fright for Wright" and the prompt reply from I forget who: "That's right!"
At the royal wedding in 1981 Johnners was commentating on BBC radio outside St. Pauls cathedral.' Yes I can see the happy couple now making their way down the steps of the pavilion'.
'The slow motion replay doesn't show how fast that delivery was'. Benaud
That tough cricketer Brian Close was fielding close to the wicket at short leg when the batsman produced a full-blooded pull shot and the ball hit the fielder hard on the side of his face. Amazingly it flew straight up in the air and the batsman was caught at slip. "My God," said a worried fielder going up to check on Close. "What would have happened if he'd hit you right between the eyes?" "In that case," growled Close, "the bugger would have been caught at cover."
"The English," wrote one Englishman, "are not a spiritual people, and so they invented cricket in order to have some conception of eternity.'' The people of the Indian sub-continent are, however, intensely religious; and they adopted cricket in order to have some excuse for celebration.
Ray Illingworth has just relieved himself at the pavilion end.- BrianJohnston, BBC Radio If you go in with two fast bowlers and one breaks down, you're left two short.- Bob Massie, ABC Radio
It is important for Pakistan to take wickets if they are going to make big inroads into this Australian batting line-up. - Max Walker, Channel 9
It's been very slow and dull day, but it hasn't been boring. It's been a good, entertaining day's cricket.- Tony Benneworth, ABC Radio
On the first day, Logie decided to chance his arm and it came off. - Trevor Bailey, Radio 3
Q: Do you feel that the selectors and yourself have been vindicated by the result?
A: I don't think the press are vindictive. They can write what they want. - Mike Gatting, ITV