Maxwell Jokes

A woman has three daughters who get married. She asks them to write to her in two words to describe their happiness.
First daughter gets married and after three days the woman gets a note.
It reads 'Maxwell House'. The woman was confused but then read an advert in the paper for Maxwell House coffee reading: "Satisfaction guaranteed".
So the woman was happy for her daughter.
Second daughter gets married and after seven days the woman gets a note.
It reads 'Rothmans Cigarettes'. The woman was baffled but then read an advert in the paper reading "Lifetime, King-size". So the mother was very happy that her daughter had married well.
Third daughter gets married, but the woman is worried, it's been four weeks and no word. Finally, on the fifth week the woman gets a note. It reads "British Airways". So then mum rushed to read an advert about BA, and shock, horror!
She faints. The advert read: "Three times a day, seven days a more...

(Forwarded by a mate in the UK)
A mother had three daughters. She asked all three of them to make sure they wrote home after their weddings and tell her about married life.
The first daughter wrote back on the second day after her marriage. The letter arrived with a single message, "Maxwell House Coffee."
Mother was confused but finally noticed an advertisement for Maxwell House Coffee. The advertisement said "Satisfaction to the Last Drop." So, Mother was happy.
Then the second daughter got married and after a week she sent home her reply. The message simply read "Rothmans."
So the Mother looked for an advertisement for Rothmans. She found one, and it read "KING SIZE." Mother was happy.
Then it was the third daughter's wedding. Mother was anxious because this time it took four weeks for a message to arrive. When it did the message was simply "British Airways."
Mother was concerned. She frantically more...

Mrs. Smith has three daughters who are all getting married within the same month. She tells each one of her daughters to write back about their married life.

To avoid possible embarrassment to their new husbands by openly discussing their love lives, the mother and daughters agree to using newspaper advertisements as a "code" to let the mother know how their love lives are going.

The first one gets married and the second day a telegram arrives with a single message, simply: "MAXWELL COFFEE HOUSE."

Mrs. Smith gets the newspaper and checks the Maxwell Coffee House advertisement, and it says: "Good to the last drop..." So, Mrs. Smith is happy.

Then the second daughter gets married. After a week, there is a postcard that reads: "ROTHMAN'S MATTRESSES." So, Mrs. Smith looks at the Rothman's Mattresses ad, and it says: "FULL SIZE, KING SIZE." And Mrs. Smith is happy.

Then it is the third more...

Chappell just stood on his feet and smashed it to the boundary.

Daddy, I want to go uckies.
- Hamish Maxwell, 2, to his father Jim on air

The sight of Bright holds no fright for Wright. .. and the riposte That's right!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Maxwell!
Maxwell who?
Maxwell call later if your not going to answer!