"'Twas the Night before Finals" joke
T'was the night before finals, And all through the college, The students were prayingFor last minute knowledge. Most were quite sleepy, But none touched their beds, While visions of essaysDanced in their heads. Out in the taverns, A few were still drinking, And hoping that liquorWould get their brains thinking. In my own apartment, I had been pacing, Dreading all those examsI soon would be facing. My roommate was speechless, His nose in his books, And my comments to himDrew unfriendly looks. I drained all the coffee, And brewed a new pot, No longer caringThat my nerves were shot. I stared at my notes, But my thoughts were all muddy, My eyes went a'blur, I just couldn't study. "Some pizza might help,"I said with a shiver, But each place I calledRefused to deliver. I'd pretty much concludedLife is unfair and cruel, Since our futures all dependOn grades made in school. When all of a sudden, Our door opened wide, And Patron Saint Put-It-OffAmbled inside. Her spirit was careless, Her manner was mellow, She looked at the messAnd started to bellow: "Why should us studentsMake such a fuss, About what those teachersToss out to us?" "On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes! On Last Year's Exams! On Wingit and Slingit, And Last Minute Crams!" Her message delivered, She vanished from sight, But we heard her laughingOutside in the night. "Your teachers won't flunk you, So just do your best.Happy Finals to All, And to All, a good test."
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