"Two Old Ladies Chatting" joke
Two old ladies were sitting on the porch, chatting about nothing in particular. Clear out of the blue, Hazel turned to Blanche and asked, "Do you still get horny, dear?"
Blanche gave Hazel a sheepish grin and replied, "I sure do. Not like I used to mind you, but yes, at times."
Hazel thought for a moment, and then asked, "What do you do about it?"
"I suck a lifesaver," Blanche quickly replied.
"A lifesaver!" exclaimed Hazel. "Well, who drives you to the beach?"
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
A greenhorn visiting Alaska was talking to two old sourdoughs. They informed him he was a cheechako. The greenhorn asked how he could become a sourdough.
The two sourdoughs winked at each other, and told him he had to do three things. First, he had to pee in the Yukon River. more...
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
I'm hungry:
"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."
"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
"So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread."
"I could eat the arse out of a rag doll more...
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.