"Two Old Ladies Chatting" joke
Two old ladies were sitting on the porch, chatting about nothing in particular. Clear out of the blue, Hazel turned to Blanche and asked, "Do you still get horny, dear?"
Blanche gave Hazel a sheepish grin and replied, "I sure do. Not like I used to mind you, but yes, at times."
Hazel thought for a moment, and then asked, "What do you do about it?"
"I suck a lifesaver," Blanche quickly replied.
"A lifesaver!" exclaimed Hazel. "Well, who drives you to the beach?"
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedghog?
A: A six-foot toothbrush.
ur momma so fat that whenever she went to get her blood drawn the results came back gravy.
A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.