"Udurawana & the Race" joke

Udurawana -why are all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Udurawana - If only the winner will get the cup, why are others running?
-One day Udurawana visited a museum with a foreign visitor. The visitor saw a big skull and asked what that was.
Udurawana said "that was the skull of King Sri Wickrama Rajasinghe".
After a few miniutes, the visitor saw another small skull of a monkey and asked udurawana what that was.
Udurawana said " that is when the king was young".
One morning, Mrs. Udurawana caught her husband searching high and low all around his living room.
Mrs. Udurawana:"What are you searching for?"
Mr. Udurawana: "Hidden camaras!"
Mrs. Udurawana: "And what makes you think that there are hidden camaras here?"
Mr. Udurawana: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Every few minutes he keeps saying, "You are watching Rupavahini channel. How does he know that?"
Udurawana's wish - When I die, I wanna die like my grandpa, who died peacefuly in his sleep not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving..
Twins were born to uduravana,.
he could not sleep for the whole night.
why????
he kept wondering who is the father of the second child
-Udurawana with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But... what happened to your other ear?"
"That fellow called back."
-Those days in Sri Lanka everybody must have licence for their shot guns. Udurawana messed up everything and he forgot to get licence. On the last day he rushed to govt kachcheri, the place where licence are issued and talked to the counter clerk and said " I want to get licence for my gun, can I do that now?" But the counter was dull of hearing " licence for what???" Udurawana said "gun... gun... You dont know gun? G for Gesus (Jesus) U for urope (Europe) N for numonia (Pneumonia)?"