"Universal poker" joke

(Order): Is each here? Does each have his opposite?
(Chaos): I am here, but my opposite is you.
(Order): Huh?
(Evil): Don't let him bug ya'. We're here.
(Truth): My opposite is not here.
(Good): Is your opposite "Lies"?
(Truth): My opposite is "Void". He couldn't make it.
(Evil): )snicker( Figures!
(Order): Agh! How are we going to seat five! This table is made for six!
(Evil): Just take out his chair and move over. Sheesh!
(Good): I have the cards.
(Evil): I've got the chips.
(Truth): I have the beer.
(Chaos): I have the cards!
(Order): Shut up.
...
(Order): Whose deal is it?
(Evil): Do ya' gotta ask that EVERY time?
(Truth): It is Good's deal.
(Good): OK, five card draw... uh, everything is wild.
(Evil): How can anyone win if everything is wild?
(Good): No ONE can win, but we all can call ourselves winners if...
(Order): I like this game.
(Evil): This is pointless.
(Truth): It is time to deal.
(Good): Here we go! Your bet, Truth.
(Truth): Five.
(Order): Five and raise you five.
(Evil): Don't you morons get it? It doesn't matter how much you bet!
(Order): I like ten better.
(Evil): )sigh( Call.
(Chaos): I fold.
(Evil): YOU CAN'T LOSE!
(Chaos): I still fold.
(Good): OK, I'll call. How many, Truth?
(Evil): What's the point in taking more cards?
(Truth): I will keep the cards I have.
(Order): I will take two.
(Evil): Why?!?
(Order): I didn't like those.
(Evil): None for me.
(Chaos): I'll take six.
(Good): Sorry, you folded. Dealer keeps his. Bets?
(Evil): Oh, just get this over with.
(Order): But now we have to bet!
(Evil): Any money you put in, you're just gonna get back!
(Truth): I am in agreement with Evil. Let us show our cards.
(Truth): I have five aces.
(Order): I have five ace of spades.
(Chaos): I have a three.
(Good): Please be quiet. I also have five aces. We all win.
(Evil): Hold it, bub. Six aces, read'em and weep.
(Good): Where did you get that card?
(Truth): He stole it from Chaos.
(Evil): You know the rules, boys. The pot's mine.
(Good): That was a stupid game.
(Order): Whose deal is it?
(Truth): The dealer progression is opposite the deal. Chaos deals.
(Chaos): Whee!
(all but Chaos): )groan(
(Chaos): Eleven card stud-hold'em with threes, eights, jacks, and kings wild...fives count as fours, fours count as nines, and queens don't count unless there is a prime numbered spade showing...
(Order): I fold...