"Wealthy Texas rancher" joke
A number of years ago, a wealthy Texas rancher had a daughter who was about marrying age. But the rancher was afraid that someone would try to marry his daughter just for his money. So he decided to throw a party and invite all of the eligible men. At the party everyone was enjoying Texas longhorn steaks, Lone Star beer, etc.
After a while, the rancher gathered everyone over to his olympic-sized swimming pool. He and his daughter were on one side, all of the eligible men were on the other.
He announced to the men, "I have filled my pool with alligators, crocodiles, piranha, snakes, and all sorts of man-eating vermin. The first young man to jump in and make it across my pool alive receives 1 of 3 things. He may have 10,000 acres of my finest land, 5,000 head of my finest cattle, or my daughters hand in marriage."
Immediately a young man was in the pool, arms flailing, feet kicking, and waves splashing all around. He jumped out of the pool, his shirt, jeans, and boots soaked, but he was unharmed.
"Young man, that was the bravest thing I have ever seen, would you like to have 10,000 acres of my finest land?"
The young man, bent over from exhaustion, replied "No sir."
"Then perhaps you would like 5,000 head of my finest cattle?"
The young man, still bent over and out of breath, replied, "Thank you but, no sir."
"Young man, I would be proud to call you my son, you may have my daughters hand in marriage."
"Thank you sir but, I do not want your daughter's hand in marriage."
"Young man, that was the bravest thing I have ever seen. What would you like and it is yours?
"Sir, I want the name of the son-of-a-bitch that pushed me in the pool!"
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