"What A Difference 41 Years Make..." joke

1970: Wore long hair
2011: Longing for hair
1970: Sitting around thinking of the perfect high.
2011: Sitting around thinking of the perfect high yield mutual fund.
1970: Finding a friend to split the price of a keg.
2011: Finding a friend to take me to have an EKG.
1970: Sitting through sessions of Acid Rock.
2011: Sitting through sessions of Acid Reflux.
1970: Thinking of moving to a real kool place.
2011: Thinking of moving to a real warm place.
1970: News stories of people growing pot.
2011: The reality of growing a pot belly.
1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with my mother and sister.
2011: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with my grown children.
1970: Trying to look like Richard Rountree or Ron O'Neal.
2011: Trying NOT to look like Richard Rountree or Ron O'Neal.
1970: Chewing on seeds and stems.
2011: Chewing on lots of roughage.
1970: Popping pills, smoking joints.
2011: Popping joints, needing those pills.
1970: Noting our president's struggle with Fidel.
2011: Noting our president's struggle with fidelity.
1970: Admiring JACK PAAR.
2011: Joining AARP
1970: Avoiding Killer weed.
2011: Avoiding Weed killer.
1970: Hoping to "get lucky" on a date.
2011: Hoping you won't catch anything from your "lucky" date.
1970: Reading about The Grateful Dead.
2011: Reading about Dr. Kevorkian.
1970: Getting out to a new, hip joint.
2011: Getting a new hip joint.
1970: Listening to the Rolling Stones.
2011: Struggling with kidney stones.
1970: Yelling, "Screw the system!"
2011: Reminding yourself to, "Upgrade the stupid system!"
1970: Throwing the Peace sign.
2011: Watching the Mercedes logo.
1970: Friends who wouldn't get their hair cut.
2011: Children begging to get their heads shaved.
1970: Talking to friends about taking acid.
2011: Talking to friends about taking antacid.
1970: Proud to be passing the driver's test.
2011: Barely passing the vision test.
1970: "Whatever" was a typical response.
2011: "That Depends" is the way to go.

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

466
212

What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

129
76

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

226
101

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because,' It's a lot of money!'

After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her more...

35
8

A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?"
The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your more...

57
21
Be first to comment!
remember me
follow replies
Funny Joke? 6 vote(s). 83% are positive. 0 comment(s).