"What Not To Get Your Dog For Christmas" joke

A CD of cats meowing popular Christmas songs.
A chew toy with the head already gnawed off by his canine brother
who chewed his way into the gift box around the 15th of the month.
A chew toy shaped like a shoe which he is immediately going to
confuse with the right sneaker of your favorite pair.
Central A/C for his Dogloo when you're still using individual wall
units that are barely up to cooling a small close-size area in
your house.
Anything Garfield.
A remote control for the refrigerator door.
A knitted pink sweater that makes your macho Doberman look like a
poodle.
A deluxe prepackaged treat-filled Christmas stocking
that's large enough for you to use as a sleeping bag.
Doggie antlers when your nearsighted hunting relatives will be
spending the holidays with you.
A stuffed toy dog with an angel's halo as a hint as to what he
has to do to get more presents next year.
A doggie door between you and the suspicious butcher next door.
An audition for a diet dog food commercial where they feed him so
much during retakes that he actually gains weight.
A piece of jewelry featuring a ceramic dog of his breed for you
to wear.
His own Petsmart credit card.