"When not to Fart" joke

When not to Fart:
1. In a crowded elevator
2. On a crowded bus
3. In a public library
4. While on a date
5. While giving a speech
6. In church
7. In a crowded classroom
8. In your office when you`re alone - someone`s bound to walk in immediately afterwards
9. In a movie theater
10. In your cubicle at work - again someone`s bound to walk in to visit
11. In a walk-in freezer - it`ll linger a while
12. In an commercial airplane
13. In a ticket line
14. In your car before picking up a family member
15. during confession
16. In bed when you`re feeling frisky
17. In a Cessna
18. While fighting fire in a burning building
19. In a patrol car for a minor violation

When to Fart:
1. In your bosses office as you are turning to leave. Tip-Make sure it`s a silent one.
2. In a bathroom
3. In a cashier`s line - it might help to speed up things
4. In an empty elevator before you get off
5. Next to an occupied changing room - it may quickly become unoccupied.
6. In someone elses unoccupied cubicle at work
7. While parachuting
8. While scuba diving
9. In the back seat of a patrol car if you are arrested
10. During interrogation if you`re the one being interrogated
11. In your car if you`ve been carjacked
12. In the changing room when you`re sure someone else is waiting their turn.
13. In your car once you`ve been pulled over. The cop may let you go quicker.
14. During a pie eating competition to distract your competitors
15. While walking down a crowded hallway. Nobody will know who to blame.