"Witty Insults" joke

Witty insults, relating to a variety of different topics.

A collection of insults! Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I'll arrange it with the undertaker.

People say that you are outspoken, but not by anyone that I know of.

Your conversation is like the waves of the sea. It makes me sick!

We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.

When you get to the men`s room, you will see a sign that says, "Gentlemen." Pay no heed to it. Go right on in.

The only things you ever make are mistakes and cigarette ashes.

You always manage to keep your neck above water. We can tell by the color of it.

All that you are you owe to your parents. Why don't you send them a penny and square the account?

I heard you have hair on your chest, and that`s not your only resemblance to Rin Tin Tin.

No one should be punished for accident of birth, but you look too much like a wreck not to be.

There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it.

Sit down and give your mind a rest.