"Women and Mother" joke
One day when a mother went to work, her 14 year old daughter decided to try her hand at giving "cybersex". She had learned the prior day at school what it was and thought it would be awesome to give it a try. Not knowing what she was doing she accidently entered a room with another woman. So they started.
Hottie14: Hey, I've never done this before but I think you'll find I'll do just fine.
Oldyetsexy: That's okay, lets start.
I pick you up and throw you on the bed.
Hottie14: I giggle in delight about what's going to happen.
Oldyetsexy: I grab your silk black shirt and slowly slide it off you. Your bra is so cute.
Hottie14: Hey, how do you know I am wearing black and am a woman?
Oldyetsexy: Ummm, lucky guess... and yes I like that you're a woman. Anyway, I feel your boobs - they're really sexy.
Hottie14: Yes I know. I slide my hand down your pants and tickle your "bush" - it feels SO good.
Oldyetsexy: I un-zip your tight-tight jeans and slip them off.
Hottie14: I do the same.
Oldyetsexy: Time for some action. I lick all around your boobs from EVERY possible angle. This feels SO right. Slowly I spread my legs waiting for you to do what we both want.
Hottie14: I go a step further. I slide farther down the bed and suck your bush. I start licking it too. Is that all right?
oldyetsexy: OH YEAH! Keep it up! I move my lips towards you and start french kissing.
Hottie14: I hump you and rub my body all around.
Oldyetsexy: I am now covered in your white love potion.
Hottie14: I run my hand through your hair and kiss your nipples.
Oldyetsexy: Hey, do you want to have sex with your mom - she probably does with you - you sound so hot! Oh my gosh, i going to go! Tell me later!
OLDYETSEXY HAS LEFT CHATROOM.
The 14 year old is all confused. She hurriedly leaves chatroom also. An 1/2 hour later the mom arrives home and rushes up to her daughters room.
"So what'd you do while I was gone?"
Being the trustworthy daughter that she is she explains.
"So do you want to have sex with me? Judging from what you said you'd be really good."
"Ummm... wait how do you know what i said?" She starts.
The woman drops her pants.
"Well I'm old yet sexy aren't I?"
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedghog?
A: A six-foot toothbrush.
ur momma so fat that whenever she went to get her blood drawn the results came back gravy.
A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.