"World Cup Cricket (IT HURTS, BUT IT'S TRUE)" joke

IT HURTS... BUT IT'S TRUE.....
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>Q. Who is the best Sri Lankan batsman on the current tour?
>A. Muttiah Muralitharan
>
>Q. What is the height of optimism?
>A. A Sri Lankan batsman putting on sunscreen.
>
>Q. What would Glenn McGrath be if he was Sri Lankan?
>A. An all-rounder.
>
>Q. What is the main function of the Sri Lankan coach?
>A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.
>
>Q. Why is Upul Chandana the unluckiest bowler on tour?
>A. Because he was born in Sri Lanka.
>
>Q. What's the Sri Lankan version of a hat-trick?
>A. Three runs in three balls.
>
>Q. What's the Sri Lankan version of a maiden over?
>A. Sarita Rajendran now De Silva (Aravinda's wife).
>
>Q. When does the ball travel at its fastest in this world cup?
>A. An Eric Upashantha delivery flying towards the boundary.
>
>Q. Why don't Sri Lankan fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
>A. Because they never catch anything.
>
>Q. What's the Sri Lankan version of LBW?
>A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.
>
>Q. What do you call an Sri Lankan with 100 runs against his name?
>A. A bowler.
>
>Q. What's the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Sri Lankan batsmen?
>A. The walk back to the pavilion.
>
>Q. Who has the easiest job in the Sri Lankan touring party?
>A. The guy who removes the ball marks from the bats.
>
>Q. Why did Nawaz Sharief kidnap Alan Mullaly? ?
>A. He just heard about the new weapon for which the Sri Lankans have no known defense.
>
>Q. What did Arjuna say after the Sri Lanka-England match?
>A. Shaken but not stirred. ..
>
>Q. What did Arjuna say after the Sri Lanka-India match?
>A. Massacred but not killed.... we're not worried
>
>Q. What do Sri Lankan batsmen and drug addicts have in common??
>A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.
>
>Q. Why are Sri Lankan batsmen looking forward to the new millennium?
>A. So they can at least say they passed a century.
>
>Q. Who spent the most time on the crease of anyone in the Sri Lankan touring party?
>A. The lady who ironed the cricket whites.
>
>Q. Why are Sri Lankan cricketers cleverer than Houdini?
>A. Because they can get out without even trying.
>
>Q. What does Chaminda Waas put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket?
>A.?? A bat???????