"Xmas top ten signs the person answering the butterball turkey hotline is nuts" joke
"Signs the Person Answering the Butterball Turkey Hotline is Nuts"
As presented on the 11/26/96 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN
Starts out by asking, "What are you wearing?"
Keeps referring to product called "Vicks Vap-O-Gravy"
Recommends thawing the turkey in your pants
Wants you to look inside the turkey for contact lens he lost at the processing plant
When you ask, "How often should I baste it?" he says, "Are we still talking about the turkey?"
Tells you that when the timer pops up, you have ten seconds before the damn thing explodes
Insists you cook turkey at six degrees for 450 hours
Keeps interrupting to ask if you're planning to eat the bird or wear it as a hat
Claims to have sailed from New York to the Bahamas in a gravy boat
He tells you to go stuff yourself
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
How many letters are in the alphabet?
There are 11 letters in "THE ALPHABET"
Did you say 26? :)
A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 5-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, taking in the whole event.
The man thought, "Oh, this is just great... he's only 5 and I'm going to have to start explaining all about the birds and the more...