"You Know You're Italian When..." joke
- You're 5'4", can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.- Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a 76 Monte Carlo.- You share a bathroom with your 5 brothers, have no money, but drive a $45,000 Camaro or Firebird.- Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.- You consider dunking a cannoli in an espresso a nutritious breakfast.- Your 2 best friends are your cousin and your brother-in-law's brother-in-law.- At least 5 of your cousins live on your street.- All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather.- A high school diploma and 1 year of Nassau Community College has earned you the title of "professor" among your aunts.- You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.- If someone in your family grows beyond 5'6", it is presumed his mother had an affair.- There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.- You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.- At some point in your life, you were a D.J - 30 years after immigrating, your parents still say "Pronto" when answering the phone.- You have ever been in a fight defending Sly Stallone's thespian greatness.- Somewhere on your parents' property, there is a bathtub Madonna.- You build your house with 3 materials.... brick, brick and wrought iron.- You have at least one sister that went to Beauty School.- Clothes from the Chess King will actually fit you.- It is impossible for you to talk with your hands in your pockets.- Have been to a funeral where talk of the deceased is, "He shoulda kept his big yap shut."
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