Cousins Jokes

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A WOG WHEN...................

1. You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.

2. You carry your lunch in a Weston Produce bag because you can't fit 2 falafel chicken sandwiches, 4 oranges, 3 bananas, a jar of olives, a loaf of bread and a kebab into a regular paper lunch bag.

3. Your father owns 5 houses, has $300, 000 in the bank, but still drives a' 76 Monaro/Kingswood.

4. Your mother owns 3 houses, has $400, 000 in the bank but still believes she's entitled to the pension.

5. You share one bathroom with your 5 brothers and 7 sisters, have no money, but drive a $75, 000 Club Sport.

6. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all related somehow.

7. You consider dunking a pack of Teddy Bear bikkies in coffee a nutritious breakfast.

8. There are at least 30 pairs of slippers in your front hall more...

You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag.Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or street. All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9", it is presumed his Mother had an affair.There are more than 28 people in your bridal party.You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.And you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when:Your grandfather had a fig tree.You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.Your mom's meatballs are the best.You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.Plastic more...

You know you're Italian when
You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.
You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag.
Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.
You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or street. All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.
You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.
You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.
If someone in your family grows beyond 5'9", it is presumed his Mother had an affair.
There are more than 28 people in your bridal party.
You netted more than $50, 000 on your first communion.

And you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when:
. Your grandfather had a fig tree.
. You eat Sunday dinner at more...

You know you're Italian when. . . .

You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.

You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag.

Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.

You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or on the same block.

All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.

You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners

You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.

If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9", it is presumed his Mother had an affair.

There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.

You netted more than $50, 000 on your first communion.

You know your Italian because... If someone in your family grows beyond 5'9'' it is presumed that their mother had an affair. You have at least 5 cousins living on the same block or town. All five of these cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother. You netted more than $50,000 at your first communion. You can bench press 325 pounds...shave twice a day...And still cry when your mother yells at you!