"You know you're Italian when .." joke
You can bench press 325 pounds, shave
twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you. You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins. You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or street. And all five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother. You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners. You only get one good shave from a disposable razor. If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9 ", it is presumed his Mother had an affair. There are more than 28 people in your bridal party. You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion. And you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when: Your grandfather had a fig tree. You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00. Christmas Eve. . . only fish. Your mom's meatballs are the best. You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you. Plastic on the furniture is normal. You know how to pronounce "manicotti" and "mozzarella." You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy." You've called someone a "mamaluke." And you understand "bada bing"!!
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