"You know you are a Hmong if:" joke
Your only close friends are Hmong people. You hate "white" music and only listen to pop, techno, rap or r&b music, which, of course, are not "white". N'sync is black. You wear platforms and stylish clothes (girls). You wear baggy or preppy clothes (boys). You live in a Hmong community and never leave. If you leave, you always end up coming back. Your parents compare who has the worst kids. You have a rice cooker and buy 100 lbs. of rice every month. You have a whole pig/cow/chicken in your refrigerator. You have over ten kids in the family. Your parents/grandparents can't speak English. You have a baby or get married before you turn sixteen. All you think about is boys/girls. You know someone who works in a factory. You have cockroaches in your house. Family is the most important thing in your life. You go to all the Hmong tournaments in the summer. You have Hmong pride. You know how to spell "kuv hlub koj" and that's it. You live in Wisconsin, Minnesota or California or knows someone who lives there. You have relatives in France, Thailand or Laos. The younger generation likes to go on-line and hook up with other Hmong people.
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
Virgin Mary wanted to visit Hell, so she went to God and asked if she might do so. "Yes," God said. "I have only one warning for you. You must stay away from booze, drugs and men. Will you promise me so?" "Yes," Virgin Mary said. "And remember more...
Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedghog?
A: A six-foot toothbrush.
ur momma so fat that whenever she went to get her blood drawn the results came back gravy.