"You know you are a Hmong if:" joke
Your only close friends are Hmong people. You hate "white" music and only listen to pop, techno, rap or r&b music, which, of course, are not "white". N'sync is black. You wear platforms and stylish clothes (girls). You wear baggy or preppy clothes (boys). You live in a Hmong community and never leave. If you leave, you always end up coming back. Your parents compare who has the worst kids. You have a rice cooker and buy 100 lbs. of rice every month. You have a whole pig/cow/chicken in your refrigerator. You have over ten kids in the family. Your parents/grandparents can't speak English. You have a baby or get married before you turn sixteen. All you think about is boys/girls. You know someone who works in a factory. You have cockroaches in your house. Family is the most important thing in your life. You go to all the Hmong tournaments in the summer. You have Hmong pride. You know how to spell "kuv hlub koj" and that's it. You live in Wisconsin, Minnesota or California or knows someone who lives there. You have relatives in France, Thailand or Laos. The younger generation likes to go on-line and hook up with other Hmong people.
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.
The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on my and stick me in a jar.
The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever more...
A FRIEND OF MINE HAS AN 18 YEAR OLD SON NAMED LEROY. HE ATTENDS OAKLAND HIGH SCHOOL WHERE THEY TEACH EBONICS AS A SECOND LANGUAGE. LAST WEEK HE WAS GIVEN AN EASY HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT. ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS PUT EACH OF THE FOLLOWING WORDS IN A SENTENCE. THIS IS WHAT LEROY more...
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!