"I`m not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped..." joke

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...

One day a little boy over heard his parents in the bedrooom arguing,"You bitch, your cunt is too hairy! Whell your dick is to small bastard!"The boy was curious about these new words so he went in the room and asked what they meant. The startled parents did their best more...

What did the blonde's long sexy left leg say to her long sexy right leg?
Nothing, because they have never met.

My wife has just found out I've been fucking a Hermaphrodite.
She screamed at me, "What's she got that I haven't got?"
"Well....."

A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.