"God`s Help" joke
A guy is walking along the railway track when suddenly he got his foot caught stuck in the tracks. He tried to get it out but it was really stuck in there well.
He heard a noise and turned around to see a train coming. He panicked and started to pray, "God, please get my foot out of these tracks and I'll stop drinking!"
Nothing happened, it was still stuck, and the train was getting closer!
He prayed again, "God, please get my foot out and I'll stop drinking AND cussing!"
Still nothing. .... and the train was just seconds away!
He tried it one more time, "God please, if you get my foot out of the tracks, I'll quit drinking, cussing, smoking and having sex with all the women I meet."
Suddenly his foot shot out of the tracks and he was able to dive out of the way, just as the train passed!
He got up, dusted himself off, looked toward Heaven and said, "Thanks anyway God, I got it myself."
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