"chuck norris survived an abortion..." joke

A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

- Yo Mama's so fat, she couldn't fit in a satellite photo.
- Yo Mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
- Yo Mama's so fat, when she fell over, she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
- Yo Mama's so fat, when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came more...

The atom bomb isn’t real.. It’s just Chuck falling out a plane and punching the ground..