"kidnapping" joke

Police searching for a missing child heard heavy breathing coming from a parked van.
But, when they looked, it was just a kid napping.

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands more...

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

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Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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Normal people believe that "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"

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