"make a meal" joke

I accidentally left the fridge door open and all the food went off.
My wife was furious. "What am I supposed to do with all this food?"
I said. "Look, love, don't make a meal out of it."

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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During sex last night, my partner whispered in my ear, "Pretend you're my dad."
I was furious.
"You are one sick-minded girl, what a disgusting thing to ask me."
I stormed out of the bedroom and slammed the door.
I mean, you don't expect shit more...

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What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

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Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

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Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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