leg Jokes / Recent Jokes

Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he ask, "Fred, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg?"

"Well Michael, that's a mighty special pig! A while back a wild boar attacked me while I was walking in the woods. That pig there came a runnin', went after that boar and chased him away. Saved my life!"

"And the boar tore up his leg?"

"No he was fine after that. But a bit later we had that fire. Started in the shed up against the barn. Well, that ole pig started squealin' like he was stuck, woke us up, and' fore we got out here, the darn thing had herded the other animals out of the barn and saved' em all!"

"So that's when he hurt his leg, huh, Fred?"

"No, Michael. He was a might winded, though. When my tractor hit a rock and rolled down the hill into the pond I was knocked clean out. When I came more...

Santa paid a big sum to acquire a talking parrot. If it raised its left leg it greeted visitors with,' Ram, Ram.' If its right leg was lifted, it said,' Sat Sri Akal.'
When Santa's friend Banta came to see him, he showed him what his parrot could do. Banta was most impressed.' Let's see what it says if we lift both its legs,' suggested Banta. As they tried to do so the parrot squeaked,' Giraae ga, haraamzaadey!' (Want to knock me down, you bastards!)

HERE is a variation of the one-legged tandoori chicken anecdote. A dhabawala who had been questioned for serving such a bird took his customer outside and showed him a hen which happened at the time to be standing on one leg. The customer cried "shoo, shoo". The hen promptly scampered away on its two legs. Unabshed the dhabawala replied, "Sir, if only you had shouted' shoo shoo' before eating my chicken, the second leg would have appeared."

A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A man comes in and asks him, “Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk? ”
Farmer: Some things you just can’t explain. Man: So what happened that’s so horrible?
Farmer: Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked over the bucket. Some things you just can’t explain. Man: Ok, but that’s not so bad.
Man: So what happened then? Farmer: I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left. Man: and then? Farmer: Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket. Some things you just can’t explain.
Man: So, what did you do then? Farmer: I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right. I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over more...

one leg and a bicycle. 4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses. so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it. one hand and a Clapper. green hair and thinks she's a tree. one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying. 10 fingers--all on the same hand. a glass eye with a fish in it. a short leg and walks in circles. a short arm and can't applaude. so many freckles she looks like a hamburger! three fingers and a banjo. a wooden leg with a kickstand on it. a bald head with a part and sideburns. a wooden leg with branches. so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.

There was this not too bright scientist doing a study on how frogs respond to commands. He tells a frog to jump. The frog jumps 30 feet. He writes in his log book, frog jumps 30 feet. Then he cuts off one leg. He gives the same command to frog. It jumps 25 feet. In Log: Cut off one leg, frog jumps 5 less feet. He cuts off another leg. Frog goes 20 feet. He records it in log book. Then he cuts off the 3rd leg, commands frog to jump. Frog jumps 10 feet. He writes, cut off 3 legs and frog now jumps 10 less feet. Finally, he cuts off the last leg and commands frog, JUMP! Frog doesn't move an inch. So the scientist writes in his book... Cut off all 4 legs and frog GOES DEAF!

A woman walked into a very busy butcher's shop. Looking at meats and poultry on display, she suddenly grabbed hold of a dressed chicken, she picked up one wing, sniffed it, picked up the other wing and sniffed it, picked up one leg, sniffed it, picked up the other leg, sniffed it. Just as she finished sniffing the second leg, the butcher walked up to her and said, "Madam, could -you- pass such a test?"