leg Jokes / Recent Jokes

Application to Live in KentuckyName: __________________________ Nickname: _________________________________CB Handle Model: _____________________ Color: ______________Address (RFD No.): _________________--_____________________________________Daddy (If unknown, list 3 suspects): ______________________________________Mamma: _________________________Neck Shade: _____Light Red _____Medium Red _____Dark RedNumber of teeth exposed in full grin: Upper_____ Lower_____Name of Pickup owned: _______________ Height of Truck__________Truck equipped with: ____Gun Rack ____4-Wheel Drive ____Confederate Flag____8-Track Cassettes ____Load of Wood ____Hijacker Shocks____Radar Detector ____Mag Wheels ____Dual CB Antennas____Spittoon ____Camper Top ____Air Horns____Mud Flaps ____Toothpick Holder ____Mud-Grip Tires____Raccoon Hide ____Big Dog ____Hunting RifleNumber of empty beer cans on floorboard or in bed of pickup truck: _____BUMPER STICKERS: ____Eat more Possum ____My other car is a piece of shit more...

Yo Mama is so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

A priest was driving along and saw nun on the side of the road.
He Stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in
and crossed her legs, forcing the habit to open and reveal a leg. The Priest looks and nearly has an accident, and after changing gear lets his hand slide up her leg.
She immediately says "Father remember psalm 129" The priest apologizes Profusely and removes his hand but is unable to remove his eyes from her leg.
Further on when he changes gear and has oggled at her leg for
the Zillionth time he lets the hand slide up the leg again. The Nun once Again says "Father remember psalm 129" Once again the priest apologizes.
"Sorry sister but you know the flesh is weak" Arriving at the convent The nun gets out and the priest goes on his way. Once he
arrives at his Church he rushes to the bible and looks up psalm 129 it said, "GO FORTH AND SEEK, FURTHER UP YOU WILL FIND GLORY" more...

A prominent Polish scientist conducted very important experiment. He trained a flea to jump upon giving her a verbal command (”Jump! ”).
In a first stage of experiment he removed flea’s leg, told her to jump, and the flea jumped. So he wrote in his scientific notebook: “Upon removing one leg all flea organs function properly. ”
So, he removed the second leg, asked the flea to jump, she obeyed, so he wrote again: “Upon removing the second leg all flea organs function properly. ”
Thereafter he removed all the legs but one, the flea jumped when ordered, so he wrote again: “Upon removing the next leg all flea organs function properly. ”
Then he removed the last leg. Told flea to jump, and nothing happened. He did not want to take a chance, so he repeated the experiment several times, and the leg less flea never jumped. So he wrote the conclusion: “Upon removing the last leg the flea loses sense of hearing”

A young man had only one leg due to an accident. He had a good artificial limb fitted and could walk without a limp. His parents arranged a girl for marriage.
The marriage took place the girl or her parents not knowing that the bridegroom’s missing leg.
On the honeymoon night the girl found out that her husband has only one leg. She was very upset. When the man went to the bathroom for a wash she called home and her mother answered the phone.
“Mummy see what you have you done. ” she said crying
“He has got only one foot mummy."
The mother answered.
“ You should be very happy dear. Your farther has got only six inches”

A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A man comes in and asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?" Farmer: Some things you just can't explain. Man: So what happened that's so horrible? Farmer: Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked over the bucket. Man: Ok, but that's not so bad. Farmer: Some things you just can't explain. Man: So what happened then? Farmer: I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left. Man: and then? Farmer: Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket. Man: Again? Farmer: Some things you just can't explain. Man: So, what did you do then? Farmer: I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right. Man: and then? Farmer: Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as got the bucket more...

Inspecting the field where the new recruits were running through camouflage exercises, the general was right pleased until suddenly a man disguised as a tree started screaming and shucked off his disguise of branches and leaves.
Livid with rage, the general ordered the panicked private to come to his tent.
"Soldier," he said when the man had calmed somewhat, "do you realize that if this had been a combat situation your irresponsible behavior might have gotten your entire regiment killed?"
"I'm sorry, sir," the soldier replied, "I really am.
"Sorry isn't enough!" the general boomed. "I want to know what happened!"
"Well, sir," the soldier began, "with all due respect, I stood perfectly still when a woodpecker came along and started poking at my arm. And I didn't so much as flinch when a dog wandered over and tipped a kidney on my leg.
But, sir. .. it was the squirrels that finally got to more...