justincider's Jokes
I've been fucking this really sexy bird who is a twin.
My mate asked me how I told her apart from the other twin?
I said it was easy. Her brother has a beard.
I got sacked because I wouldn't check out this gorgeous woman at work.
I hated being a hotel receptionist anyway.
I told my wife her belly was too big.
She said, "That's a bit below the belt."
"Exactly." I said.
A little boy hurts his finger, runs in the house, and calls out to his mother. "Oh," she says, "let me get a band-aid for that."
"No!" cries the boy, "Cider!"
"Cider?" the mother exclaims. "What on earth do you want cider for?"
"Because," he explains, "Sis says whenever she gets a prick in her hand, she likes to put it in cider."
“Good afternoon. Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?”
A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counsellor. The counsellor asks the wife what is the problem.
She responds, "My husband suffers from premature ejaculation."
The counsellor turns to her husband and inquires, "Is that true?"
The husband replies, "Well, not exactly - it's her that suffers, not me."