Cider Jokes

A little boy hurts his finger, runs in the house, and calls out to his mother. "Oh," she says, "let me get a band-aid for that."
"No!" cries the boy, "Cider!"
"Cider?" the mother exclaims. "What on earth do you want cider for?"
"Because," he explains, "Sis says whenever she gets a prick in her hand, she likes to put it in cider."

Christmas Story for people having a bad day…. When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce
toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the
pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming
to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were
about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out,
Heaven knows where. Then, when he began to load the sleigh, one of the
floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys
were scattered. So, frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of
apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the
cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped
the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all
over the kitchen floor. He went to get the more...

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his
annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and
the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa
was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus
told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to
give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More
stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the
toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went
into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the
liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally
dropped the cider pot, and it more...

A little girl came running into the house crying her eyes out and cradling her hand.
"Mommy, quick! Get me a glass of cider!" she wailed.
"Why do you want a glass of cider?" asked mom.
"I cut my hand on a thorn, and I want the pain to go away."
Confused, but weary of the child's whining, the mother obliged and poured her a glass of cider. The little girl immediately dunked her hand in it.
"Ouch! It still hurts! This cider doesn't work!" whined the little one.
"What are you talking about?" asked her increasingly perplexed parent.
"Well I overheard my big sister say that whenever she gets a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider!"

When four of Santa’s elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This stressed
Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the more...