2000 Jokes / Recent Jokes

An Asian guy walks into the New York City currency exchange with 2000 yen and walks out with $72. Next week he walks in with 2000 yen and gets $66. He asks the lady why he gets less money this week than last week. The lady says "Fluctuations". The Asian guy storms out, and just before slamming the
door, turns around and says: "Fluc you Amelicans too!"

Subject: Going Toastal -- a tale for the dilbert age

Day 1: My boss, an engineer from the pre-CAD days, has successfully brought a generation of products from Acme Toaster Corp's engineering labs to market. Bob is a wonder of mechanical ingenuity. All of us in the design department have the utmost respect for him, so I was honored when he appointed me the lead designer on the new Acme 2000 Toaster.

Day 6: We met with the president, head of sales, and the marketing vice president today to hammer out the project's requirements and specifications. Here at Acme, our market share is eroding to low-cost imports. We agreed to meet a cost of goods of $9.50 (100,000). I've identified the critical issue in the new design: a replacement for the timing spring we've used since the original 1922 model. Research with the focus groups shows that consumers set high expectations for their breakfast foods. Cafe latte from Starbuck's goes best with a precise level of toastal more...

A short history of medicine: I have an earache. 2000 B. C. - Here, eat this root 1000 A. D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer. 1850 A. D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion. 1940 A. D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill. 1985 A. D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic. 2000 A. D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

A COLONEL ISSUED THE FOLLOWING DIRECTIVE TO HIS EXECUTIVE OFFICERS: "Tomorrow evening at approximately 2000 hours Halley's Comet will be visible in this area; an event which occurs only every 75 years. Have the men fall out in the battalion area in fatigues, and I will explain this rare phenomenon to them. In case of rain, we will not be able to see anything, so assemble the men in the theater and I will show them films of it." EXECUTIVE OFFICER TO COMPANY COMMANDER: "By order of the Colonel, tomorrow at 2000 hours, Halley's Comet will appear above the battalion area. If it rains, fall the men out in fatigues, then march to the theater where this rare phenomenon will take place, something which occurs only once every 75 years." COMPANY COMMANDER TO LIEUTENANT: "By order of the Colonel be in fatigues at 2000 hours tomorrow evening. The phenomenal Halley's Comet will appear in the theater. In case of rain in the battalion area, the Colonel will give another more...

Microsoft announced today that the official release date for the new operating system "Windows 2000" will be delayed until the second quarter of
1901.

REVENUE CANADA *T1-SIMPLIFIED TAX FORM
New Simplified Tax Form for 2000 Taxes
1. How much money did you make in 2000?
2. Send it to us.

Recently, on an outing with my scout troop, the question came up of when the new millenium will begin-January 1st 2000 or 2001.
So the Scoutmaster explained that each century begins with year "1" and ends with year "100"-thus the reason why the 20th century began at the start of 1901 and will end at the close of 2000.
To illustrate his point, he gathered 15 berries and asked the boys how many he had.
Each boy correctly answered "15".
His next question was, "Now which berry is number '0'?"
To which one boy blurted out, "The one that isn't there!"