22nd Jokes / Recent Jokes

Gator Bait!
Twas the 22nd of November, up in Gainesville
The whole Swamp was a roaring, no one could sit still;
The Seminoles came in all pompous and sassy
Planning to take a title back to Ol' Tallacrappy;
Their taunting banners were hung with great care,
Certain St. Bowden would answer their prayers;
Chanting and chopping, wearing yellows and reds
While visions of a national title danced in their heads;
With Steve in his visor, and Bobby in his cap
Gators and Noles hunkered down for a furious scrap;
When up from the Gators there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter!;
My eyes glued to the field, I shed a brief tear
and a Nole sitting near me threw up his beer;
For what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a BIG PLAY Gator offense...and seminole FEAR!;
With our coach in his visor and on the attack
I knew in a moment our offense was back!;
More rapid than eagles, QB's swapped more...

Women:
Car Parking:
The smallest kerbside space successfully reversed into by a woman, was one of 19.36m equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs. Caroline Wizz (GB) driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova Swing on 12th October 1993. She started the manoeuvre at 11:15am in Ropergate, Pontefract and successfully parked within three feet of the pavement, 8 hours 14mins later. There was slight damage to the bumpers and wings of her own and the two adjoining cars, as well as shop frontage and two lampposts.
Incorrect Driving:
The longest journey completed with the handbrake on, was one of 313 miles from Stranraer to Hollyhead, by Dr. Julie Thorn, at the wheel of a Saab 900 on 2nd April 1987. Dr. Thorn smelled burning two miles into her journey at Aird, but pressed on to Hollyhead with smoke billowing from the rear wheels. This journey also holds the records for the longest completed with the choke fully out and the right indicator flashing.
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