Aberdeen Jokes / Recent Jokes

At Aberdeen Uni, 4 sophomores were taking Biology. They had done brilliantly in labs, on practicals and tests etc. Each had an 'A' so far for the semester. So confident were they before finals that they decided to head down to Edinburgh College for a big party with some mates.
After a great deal of partying they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Aberdeen till early Monday morning. Rather than take the final then, they decided to find the Professor after the exam and explain their trip, how they had planned to be back in time to study, but unfortunately had a flat tire on the way home, didn't have a spare, couldn't get help and thus missed the final.
The Professor thought it over, agreed they could take the exam the next day, and naturally the guys were relieved. That night they studied hard, arrived the next day, where upon the professor placed them each in separate rooms. Handing them a test booklet he told them to begin.
Looking at problem 1, worth five more...

The US Army is currently in the midst of a sexual harassment scandal. It started at a small base in Aberdeen, Maryland. These are some things you might either see in the news, or hear about:
As a result of an internal investigation, one of the Duty Officer's stunning, blonde staffers was transferred from Aberdeen Maryland to an obscure base in Utah. The woman reported to her new Commanding Officer and handed him her orders. He glanced at them and said, "Well Private, your duties here will be pretty much the same as your last assignment." The girl sighed and said, "Yes Sir. I kind-of figured that. Will be be OK if I drape my uniform over this chair?"
Then there was the newly promoted Army Captain who promptly had his female Quartermaster on the carpet because she forgot to include a sofa in his office.
"I'm telling you Jody, I've never been happier" said the one recruit to the other. I have two Drill Sergeants madly in love with me. One is just more...

A Scot from Aberdeen was on holiday in London and every night he returned to his hotel full of the wonders of the city. So much so that another guest asked: `Is this your first visit?` `Aye, it is.` `You seem to be having a great time.` `Aye, I am that.` `Good.` `And what`s more, it`s not just a holiday. It`s my honeymoon as well.` `Oh. Then where`s your wife?` `Och. She`s been here before.`