Abode Jokes / Recent Jokes

When seeking admission to the celestial abode, the care taker angel gave me a piece of chalk directing me to mark a cross upon each step of the ladder for each sin committed. I was consciously complying accordingly, ascending. I accosted a beautiful vivacious lady, elegantly attried, descending and asked, "Why, have you not been accorded admission?" She merely replied, "The chalk is finished.

The Anti-Relationship Contract
(to guarantee no strings are attached)
I, _______________________, hereby surrender all possibilities of friendship, commitment, marriage, guilt-trips and near-pregnancies in exchange for one (1) night of USDA approved fondling and fornication. I will not return to the scene of said activities, nor call, write or otherwise contact/harass or vex said co-signer of contract for a time of no less than thirty (30) days and nights after said activities have been fulfilled. I also surrender all rights to propagate rumors, misnomers and dirty looks in the cafeteria from myself and friends, and will treat said co-signer with all the respect due a stranger. I will say "hi" if we pass within ten (10) meters in a friendly, if not neutral, tone. I will also upon completion of herefore listed activities not leave underwear, earrings or other insignificant yet oh-so-valuable knick-knacks lying about or hidden somewhere in the co- signer's abode for more...