Aboot Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said,"A penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin'... perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed.
The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh I was thinkin... perhaps its noo aboot time for a wee cuddle."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds. Then he blushed.
Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh I was thinkin... perhaps its aboot time you let me poot ma hand on your more...

A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said,"A penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin'. .. perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed.
The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh I was thinkin. .. perhaps its noo aboot time for a wee cuddle."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds. Then he blushed.
Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh I was thinkin. .. perhaps its aboot time you let me poot ma hand on more...

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Glasgow edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Glasgow. If you have one of the Glasgow editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Glasgow edition may be recognised by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDAES 98 with a background picture of a Whisky bottle superimposed on a Clydebank flag. It is shipped with a "Bells" screen saver.

Also note:
The Recycle Bin is labelled Bog
Dialup Networking is called Ma Mates
Control Panel is known as How Tae Fuck Aboot Wi The Settins
Hard Drive is referred to as Big Disk
Floppies are Them Wee Plastic Fuckers.

And instead of an error message, you get a windae covered with an empty Whisky bottle.

Other features:
OK = its aww-right
cancel = fuck off
reset = whit yoo aw aboot
yes = aye
no = nay fuckin' chance
find = get it yer fuckin' sel'
go to = more...