Abstained Jokes

There were these three couples; one elderly, one middle aged, and one newly-wed that wanted to join the church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks. After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained, and they replied,' Yes, no problem!' So the minister says,' Welcome to the church!' Then he asks the middle aged couple the same question, and they said,' Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!' So the minister says to them,' Welcome to the church!' Then the minister asks the newly wed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks. The husband says,' We were unable to abstain, on the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me'. So the minister says,' I'm sorry, but you are both banned from this church!' To this the husband replies,' That's O.K., we can't go back to Safeway, either.

There were these three couples; one elderly, one middle aged, and one newly-wed that wanted to join the church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks. After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained, and they replied, 'Yes, no problem!' So the minister says, 'Welcome to the church!' Then he asks the middle aged couple the same question, and they said, 'Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!' So the minister says to them, 'Welcome to the church!' Then the minister asks the newly wed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks. The husband says, 'We were unable to abstain, on the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me'. So the minister says, 'I'm sorry, but you are both banned from this church!' To this the husband replies, 'That's O.K., we can't go back to Safeway, either.