Academics Jokes

"He's great on the court," a sportswriter spoke of a college basketball player in a interview with his coach. "But how's his academics?"
"Why, he makes straight A's," replied the coach.
"Wonderful!" said the sportswriter.
"Yes," agreed the coach, "but his B's are a just little crooked."

Q: How many academics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. That's what research students are for.

OLD ACADEMICS never die, they just lose their faculties OLD ACCOUNTANTS never die, they just lose their balanceOLD ACCOUNTS never die, they are deletedOLD ACTORS never die, they just drop a partOLD ALCAHOLICS/DRUG ADDICTS never die, they just get wastedOLD ANTHROPOLOGISTS never die, they just become historyOLD ARCHERS never die, they just bow and quiverOLD ARCHITECTS never die, they just lose their structuresOLD ASSETS never die, they just depreciateOLD ASTRONAUTS never die, they just go to another worldOLD ATOMS never die, they just decayOLD BANKERS never die, they just lose interestOLD BANKERS never die, they just want to be a loanOLD BASEBALL PLAYERS never die, they just go battyOLD BASEBALL PLAYERS never die, they just run their last lap

Q: How many academics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. That's what research students are for.

Q: How many academics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five: One to write the grant proposal, one to do the mathematical modelling, one to type the research paper, one to submit the paper for publishing, and one to hire a student to do the work.

Q: How many sheep does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to follow him round while he looks for a new one.

Q: Why did the `Real Man' sit in the dark?
A: He couldn't find a new light bulb and was too embrassed to ask.

Q: How many George Smillivitches does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, becouse tough girls aren't afraid of the dark.

Q: How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it, and one of them can change the bulb while more...

OLD ACADEMICS never die, they just lose their faculties
OLD ACCOUNTANTS never die, they just lose their balance
OLD ACCOUNTS never die, they are deleted
OLD ACTORS never die, they just drop a part
OLD ALCAHOLICS/DRUG ADDICTS never die, they just get wasted
OLD ANTHROPOLOGISTS never die, they just become history
OLD ARCHERS never die, they just bow and quiver
OLD ARCHITECTS never die, they just lose their structures
OLD ASSETS never die, they just depreciate
OLD ASTRONAUTS never die, they just go to another world
OLD ATOMS never die, they just decay
OLD BANKERS never die, they just lose interest
OLD BANKERS never die, they just want to be a loan
OLD BASEBALL PLAYERS never die, they just go batty
OLD BASEBALL PLAYERS never die, they just run their last lap