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For those of you who may need it...A Prayer for the Stressed!
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off. And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the behind that I may have to kiss tomorrow.
Help me to always give 100% at work....
12% on Monday
23% on Tuesday
40% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday
5% on Fridays
And help me to remember...
When I'm having a really bad day, and it seems that people are trying to piss me off, that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend my arm and smack the jerk on the head!
For those of you who may need it...A Prayer for the Stressed! Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off. And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the behind that I may have to kiss tomorrow.Help me to always give 100% at work....12% on Monday23% on Tuesday40% on Wednesday20% on Thursday5% on FridaysAnd help me to remember...When I'm having a really bad day, and it seems that people are trying to piss me off, that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend my arm and smack the jerk on the head!
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I cannot accept,
And the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off.
And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the arse that I may have to kiss tomorrow.
Help me to always give 100 percent at work... 12 percent on Monday, 23 percent on Tuesday, 40 percent on Wednesday, 20 percent on Thursday and 5 percent on Fridays.
And help me to remember that... When I'm having a really bad day and it seems that people are trying to piss me off, That it takes 42 muscles to frown, And only four to extend my middle finger and tell them to swivel.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off.
Also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.
Actual dialog of a former Customer Support employee: Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?" Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." Support: "What sort of trouble?" Customer: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.", Support: "Went away?" Customer:"They disappeared." Support: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" Customer: "Nothing." Support: "Nothing?" Customer: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." Support: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" Customer: "How do I tell?" Support: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" Customer: "What's a sea-prompt?" Support: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" Customer: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." Support: more...
Microsoft vs. GM
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal."
Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement, "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"
And...
1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
2. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.
4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or more...
A Synopsis of the Microsoft Car At a recent computer expo (Comdex), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that get 100 miles to the gallon." Recently, General Motors addresses this comment by releasing this statement, "yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?" Below is a synopsis of the Microsoft Car: Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail, and you would have to re-install the engine. for some strange reason, you would accept this too. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you would have to more...