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Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I cannot accept,

and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today

because they pi**ed me off.

And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they

may be connected to the a** that I might have to kiss tomorrow.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless, to say the helpdesk employee was fired: however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."
Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support Employee: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?" "They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing."
"Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?"
"Can you see the c:prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the more...

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off.
Also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the butt that I may have to kiss tomorrow.

MICROSOFT:' If G.M. had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got one-thousand miles to the gallon.'

GENERAL MOTORS:' Perhaps, but if G.M. had developed technology the same way Microsoft has, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. You would just accept this, repair the damage and drive on.

2. Every time the lines were repainted on the road, you would have to buy a new car. You would accept this too.

3. Occasionally, but most often during rush-hour or when you are running late, your car would just die on the freeway for no apparent reason. Again, you would just accept this, re-start, and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a normal maneuver, such as a left turn, will cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart. In such cases you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. more...

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal."
Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement: "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"
Not only that, but....
Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.
You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the evidence that I have been using company property for personal purposes, including circulating my resume, searching for more rewarding and satisfying work. And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they maybe connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow. Help me to always give 100% at work.... 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday, and 5% on Fridays. And help me to remember..... When I'm having a really bad day, and it seems that people are working on my last Good Nerve, that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite me.
Amen.