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Good Afternnoon, Ridge Hall, computer assistant; may I help you?"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."What sort of trouble?"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words wentaway."Went away?"They disappeared."Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"Nothing."Nothing?"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"How do I tell?"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"What's a sea-prompt?"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."Does your monitor have a power indicator?"What's a monitor?"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does ithave a little light that tells you when it's on?"I don't know."Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the powercord goes into it. Can you see that?... more...
There is this good ol' barber in some city in the US. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service." The florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door. A cop goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service." The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting at his door. An Asian software engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber and barber replies; "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service." The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, guess more...
A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.
The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog's body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog's body and finally looks at the vet and meows. The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too."
The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.
The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead more...
Rules To Live By...Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I cannot accept, And the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off. Also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.
"If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners.
After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits."
Rules To Live By... Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I cannot accept, And the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off. Also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.
People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them
Benjamin Franklin said it first.