According Jokes / Recent Jokes
According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated, "Wash. Biol. Surv." until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper: "Dear Sirs: While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible."
A new government 10 year survey cost $3,000,000,000 revealed that 3/4 of the people in America make up 75% of the population.According to recent surveys, 51% of the people are in the majority.Did you know that 87.166253% of all statistics claim a precision of results that is not justified by the method employed? 80% of all statistics quoted to prove a point are made up on the spot.According to a recent survey, 33 of the people say they participate in surveys.Q: What do you call a statistician on drugs? A: A high flyer.Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 1-3, alpha = .05There is no truth to the allegation that statisticians are mean. They are just your standard normal deviates.Q: Did you hear about the statistician who invented a device to measure the weight of trees? A: It's referred to as the log scale.Q: Did you hear about the statistician who took the Dale Carnegie course? A: He improved his confidence from .95 to .99.Q: Why don't statisticians like to more...
Bizarre news
It's no wonder President Clinton is in so much trouble, according to Executive Mystic Barrie Dolnick. Just look at Bill's astrological chart. Dolnick insists that a "career crisis" is in the stars, and predicts a "slight possibility" of impeachment. Fortunately, says Dolnick, Clinton can ward off these negative influences by "smudging his office with sage after hours, sprinkling sea salt along the doorway, and wearing red or silk undershirts for his protection..."
Or he could try a more drastic approach: a Honduran man castrated himself with a machete because he was "frustrated" that his wife refused to have sex with him. The Heraldo Daily said Juan Varels cut off both his testicles and "put them on a table." After careful consideration, Varels "grabbed them" and went to a health center to have them reattached...
On a sad note, the Psychic Friends Network filed bankruptcy in Baltimore this week. more...
Millions of British drivers use traffic lights and jams as the perfect opportunity to pick up a hot date and sometimes even a marriage partner, according to a survey.
Up to 2 million UK motorists every day openly flirt while driving, the survey shows.
Half-a-million sleep with someone after initially spotting them during a road trip and as many 150, 000 have met their husband or wife in
traffic.
On-the-road flirting is most common in Wales, where over 60 per cent of drivers admit to exchanging sultry glances with others from behind the wheel, according to the survey of motorists carried out by car company Vauxhall.
Courtesy - Reuters
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. From the Echoes-Sentines [?], Somerset County, NJ, Sept. 17, 1987: GILLETTE RESIDENT IS ARRESTED AFTER SHOOTING HIS COMPUTERPASSAIC TWP. -- A Gillette man was arrested at his home last Thursday night after he fired eight bullets at his home computer, according to police. The man, Michael A. Case, 35, of 64 Summit Ave., was arrested shortly after 11 p. m., at his house, when police said they received a report that shots were fired. They arrived at the home to find a. 44 Magnum automatic handgun and a shot-up IBM personal computer with a Princeton Graphics System monitor. The monitor screen was blown out by the blasts and its inner workings were visible, Lt. Donald Van Tassel said on Monday. The computer, which had bullet holes in its hardware, was hit four times while four more bullet holes were found in various areas next to the computer, Van more...
According to the Chicago Tribune, the following statistic was given in the press notes for the June 7 Chicago-Oakland game: The Oakland Athletics are 32-0 in games in which they have scored more runs than their opponents.
A new government 10 year survey cost $3, 000, 000, 000 revealed that 3/4 of the people in America make up 75% of the population. According to recent surveys, 51% of the people are in the majority. Did you know that 87. 166253% of all statistics claim a precision of results that is not justified by the method employed? 80% of all statistics quoted to prove a point are made up on the spot. According to a recent survey, 33 of the people say they participate in surveys. Q: What do you call a statistician on drugs? A: A high flyer. Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 1-3, alpha =. 05There is no truth to the allegation that statisticians are mean. They are just your standard normal deviates. Q: Did you hear about the statistician who invented a device to measure the weight of trees? A: It's referred to as the log scale. Q: Did you hear about the statistician who took the Dale Carnegie course? A: He improved his confidence from. 95 to. 99. Q: Why don't more...