Actor Jokes / Recent Jokes
A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trapdoor and announce, "I descend into hell!"
A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the character would plunge through. The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place.
When the new actor announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend.
One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: "Hallelujah! Hell is full!"
After a difficult day a struggling actor returns to his neighborhood and is shocked to find a cadre of police and fire trucks surrounding the smoldering remains of his house.
Explaining who he was he asks "What happened?"
"Well," one of the officer's says, "It seems that your agent came by your house earlier today and while he was here he attacked your wife, assaulted your children, beat your dog and burned your house to the ground."
The actor is struck speechless, his jaw hanging open in disbelief... "My agent came to my house?"
Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas station attendant? Right before the tanks were full, he would pull out the nozzle and spray gas all over the car.
An actor gave a moving performance.... everybody moved.....
moved towards the nearest exist.
One cannot achieve succeess with every film. Audiences can be unpredictable. The failure could be due to a bad script or characterisation. All this is a part of the learning process. - Amitabh Bachchan (Actor, Producer)
I refuse to be a doormat to any man. I will never allow anyone to push me around. I am my own mistress. - Manisha Koirala (Actress)
Why should I try to imitate Kajol? I am not a mimicry artist. - Rani Mukherjee (Actress)
It's strange that Rakesh Roshan thinks I look older than Hrithik.
In fact, he's approached me for all his home productions. - Aishwarya Rai (Actress)
Just because I'm an actress, why should anyone dare to assume that I have no morals? - Preity Zinta (Actress)
I still have a long way to go. People will realise the difference
between Shah Rukh Khan and a one-movie-wonder like me. - Hrithik Roshan (Actor)
The Oscars are here! The Oscars are here!
The single greatest night of year is coming, and that means it's time for me to tell you who will win! I'm good, you know it. Last year, I told you James Coburn would win, and you all laughed, and he won. WHY DO YOU DOUBT ME?
Many of you cling to the belief that the Oscar goes to the most deserving nominee. Get over yourself. Oscars have nothing to do with talent and everything to do with marketing. With that in mind, here is the list of who will win.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR OK, everyone loved the little kid in Sixth Sense. But the last time the Academy gave an award to a damn kid (Anna Paquin from The Piano) she vanished off the face of the Earth to concentrate on a spelling bee. Face it, they ain't gonna give an award to anyone who still worships the Power Rangers. How about Michael Clarke Duncan from The Green Mile? Too tall. Jude Law? Forget it, his name's Jude.
There are really only two possible more...
...actor jeremy piven has quit the cast of the broadway play "speed the plow"...the reason why is in dispute....the actor maintains he left the show due to mercury poisoning....his co-stars are attributing it to ur-an-anus poisoning.