Adam Jokes / Recent Jokes

Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two extra things
left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve.
He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to
stand up while urinating.
"It's a very handy thing," God told the couple, who he found under an apple
tree. "I was wondering if either one of you wanted that ability."
Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do
that! It seems a sort of thing a man should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please,
let me have that ability. It'd be so great! When I'm working in the garden or
naming the animals, I could just stand there and let it fly. It'd be so cool. I
could write my name in the sand. Oh please God, let it be me who you give that
gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please..."
"All right," said God. "Adam will have the ability to more...

It seems God noticed Adam was despondent. So the Lord God said, "Adam, come over here and sit down!". And Adam did so.
"Adam," spoke the Creator, "I see your countenance is fallen and you seem to feel rotten and lonely." Adam said nothing in response. "So," continued the Lord, "I am going to create an alternate person who will be with you!" Adam just looked puzzled but interested. "This person," said the Lord, "will take all the raw and tasteless food that you are currently ruining and will prepare wonderful, spicy, and tasty dishes." Adam looked grateful. "This person, "said the Lord, "will be beautiful to behold and graceful and interesting to watch as she walks." Adam looked thoughtful. "This person, "emphasized the Lord,"will be able to satisfy all those dreams that you currently are having!" Adam really looked relieved. "And, lastly," said the Lord, more...

Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two extra things left in his bag of creations. So, he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating. "It's a very handy thing," God told the couple, who he found under an apple tree. "I was wondering if either one of you wanted the ability."
Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to! Please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability. It'd be so great! When I'm out working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let it fly! It'd be so cool, I could write my name in the sand. Oh, please God, let it be mine who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please!!" On and on he went, like an excited little boy who...well...had to pee.
Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly, that he should have it. It more...

Adam was strolling through the, and he asked God, "God can you put someone else on this planet with me? It's kind of lonely here?" So God said, "I will put on earth a woman, " "'What is this ‘woman’?" asked Adam. "A woman is somebody who will provide companionship and take care of all your needs," explained God. "Oh holy master, what is the price for this women"' asked Adam. "The price for her is your left arm and your right eye," said God. Then Adam replied, "Ehh... what can I get for a rib?"

It seems God noticed Adam was despondent. So the Lord God said, "Adam, come over here and sit down!". And Adam did so."Adam," spoke the Creator, "I see your countenance is fallen and you seem to feel rotten and lonely." Adam said nothing in response. "So," continued the Lord, "I am going to create an alternate person who will be with you!" Adam just looked puzzled but interested. "This person," said the Lord, "will take all the raw and tasteless food that you are currently ruining and will prepare wonderful, spicy, and tasty dishes." Adam looked grateful. "This person, "said the Lord, "will be beautiful to behold and graceful and interesting to watch as she walks." Adam looked thoughtful. "This person, "emphasized the Lord,"will be able to satisfy all those dreams that you currently are having!" Adam really looked relieved. "And, lastly," said the Lord, "She more...

Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two extra things left in his bag of creations. So, he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand
up while urinating.
"It's a very handy thing," God told the couple, who he found under an apple tree. "I was wondering if either one of you wanted the ability".
Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to! Please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability. It'd be so great! When I'm out working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let it fly! It'd be so cool, I
could write my name in the sand. Oh, please God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please!!"
On and on he went, like an excited little boy who...well...had to pee. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly, that he should more...

Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didnt have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didnt have to hear about the way his mother cooked.