Adam Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two nuns and a mother superior had a fatal accident and died and all three arrived at Heaven's door,
Saint Peter was at the entrance to greet the three nuns and mother superior introduced herself and the other two to saint Peter.
Saint Peter said,"well ladies we have a system here, you'll have to answer a question each before I can let you in"
Nuns and mother superior agreed.
Saint Peter asked the 1st nun "Who was the first man on earth?"
Nun said "adam",
saint Peter said, "You are in"
asked the 2nd nun "Who was the 1st woman on earth?"
nun said,"Eve".
St. Peter said," you are in".
Mother superior came forward, St Peter said "well you were holding a higher post and I will have to ask you a hard question"
"When Eve saw adam standing bollock nacked in front of Eve what did she tell him?"

Mother superior wanted to express the more...

God creates Adam, and soon Adam is complaining that he's all alone in the Garden of Eden.
So God says, "Okay, I'll make you a companion, a beautiful creature who'll cook and clean for you. It will be able to converse intelligently on any subject, and never ever complain or argue."
Adam says, "That sounds great."
God says, "The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg."
Adam says, "Damn, that's expensive. What can I get for a rib?"

One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem."
"What’s the problem, Adam?" God replies.
"Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I’m just not happy."
"Why is that, Adam?" comes the reply from the heavens.
"Lord, I know you created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I am lonely."
"Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a ‘woman’ for you."
"What’s a ‘woman, ’ Lord?"
"This ‘woman’ will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring, and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to more...

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married? A. RuthlessQ. What do they call pastors in Germany? A. German Shepherds. Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation. Q. What was the greatest female financier in the Bible? A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet. Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord. Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A. Samson. He brought the house down. Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden? A. Your mother ate us out of house and home. Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible? A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once. Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy? A. The area more...

It is reported that the following part of the Book of Genesis was discovered in the Dead Sea Scrolls. If authentic, it would shed light on the question, "Where do pets come from?"
And Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me."
And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will know I love you, even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish and childish and unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "But Lord, I have more...

MarriageGetting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man." Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying." Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late." Married life is frustrating. more...

After a few days on the new Earth, the Lord called to Adam and said,' 'It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth, so I want you to kiss her.'' Adam answered,' 'Yes, Lord, but what is a' kiss'?''

The Lord gave a brief description to Adam, who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush. A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said,' 'Thank you Lord, that was enjoyable.''

And the Lord replied,' 'Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that. Now, I'd like you to caress Eve.'' And Adam said,' 'What is a' caress'?'' So, the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve. Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said,' 'Lord, that was even better than the kiss.''

And the Lord said,' 'You've done well Adam. And now, I want you to make love to Eve.'' And Adam asked,' 'What is' make love', Lord?'' So, the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but more...