Adam Jokes / Recent Jokes
Ever since Eve gave Adam the apple, there has been a misunderstanding between the sexes about gifts.
- Nan Robertson
Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands.... When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. You're running around with other women," she told her mate.
"Eve, honey, you're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You know you're the only woman on earth."
The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by a strange pain in the chest.
It was his darling Eve poking him rather vigorously about the torso. "What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.
"Counting your ribs," said Eve.
The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the Rabbi walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, Adam." "Good morning, Rabbi," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque. "Rabbi Resnick, what is this?" Adam asked. "Well, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service." Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little Adam's voice was barely audible when he asked, "Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur?"
Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands.... When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset." You're running around with other women," she told her mate." Eve, honey, you're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You know you're the only woman on earth." The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by a strange pain in the chest. It was his darling Eve poking him rather vigorously about the torso." What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded." Counting your ribs," said Eve!
After God had created Adam he noticed that he
looked very lonely. He decided to help. He said
"Adam, I've decided to make you a woman. She'll
love you, cook for you, be sweet to you, and
understand you." Adam said "Great! How much will
she cost me?" The answer came back, "An arm and
a leg."
"Well," said Adam "what can I get for a rib?"
"The nerve endings," said St. Peter. "How many will I put in her hands?"
"How many did we put in Adam?", asked The Lord.
"Two hundred, O Mighty One", replied St. Peter.
"Then we shall do the same for this woman," said The Lord.
"How many nerve endings should we put in woman's genitals", inquired St. Peter.
"How many did we put in Adam?", asked The Lord.
"Four hundred and twenty, O Mighty One", replied St. Peter.
"Of course, we did want Adam to have a means of receiving extra pleasure in his life, didn't we? Do the same for woman", said The Lord.
"Yes, O Great Lord", said St. Peter.
"No, wait," said The Lord. "Give her ten thousand, I want her to scream out my name!..."
After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. Adam told God how much the woman means to him and how blessed he feels to have her. Adam began to ask questions about her. Adam: Lord, Eve is beautiful. Why did you make her so beautiful? God: So you will always want to look at her. Adam: Lord, her skin is so soft. Why did you make her skin so soft? God: So you will always want to touch her. Adam: She always smells so good. Lord, why did you make her smell so good? God: So you will always want to be near her.Adam: That's wonderful Lord, and I don't want to seem ungrateful, but why did you make her so stupid? God: So she would love you.