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After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. Adam told God how much the woman means to him and how blessed he feels to have her. Adam began to ask questions about her.
Adam: Lord, Eve is beautiful. Why did you make her so beautiful?
God: So you will always want to look at her.
Adam: Lord, her skin is so soft. Why did you make her skin so soft?
God: So you will always want to touch her.
Adam: She always smells so good. Lord, why did you make her smell so good?
God: So you will always want to be near her.
Adam: That's wonderful Lord... and I don't want to seem ungrateful, but why did you make her so stupid?
God: So she would love you

The First Parent

by Bill Cosby

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to his kids.

After creating Heaven and Earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was: "Don't."

"Don't what?", Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."

"Forbidden fruit? Really? Where is it?"

"It's over there," said God, wondering why He hadn't stopped after making the elephants.

A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and He was angry.

"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the First Parent asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?"

"I dunno," Adam answered.

God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their more...

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny what is the matter?"

Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going have a wife."

What were Adam's first words to Eve?
"You better stand back! I don't know how big this thing gets!"

In the Garden of Eden, Adam had just met Eve and they got talking
about sex. Eve was curious about what Adam did to have sex - after all,
she was the first woman on earth. So Adam took here by the hand and led
her to a nearby tree and showed her a hole in the tree trunk, just about
the right height for Adam to thrust his desires away.
Smiling, Eve said "Well now you don't have to have sex with the
tree because I've got a hole too so why don't you put it in me?"
She lay down on her back and opened her legs as wide as they would
go. Adam, looking forward to this impending moment of passion, took
several steps back.
"Come on, big boy!" said Eve. Adam ran towards Eve and..... KICKED
her between the legs as hard as he could!
"What was that for????" asked Eve....
Adam: "Oh, just checking for squirrels......"

Teacher: What time do you think Adam was born Sammy?

Sammy: In the afternoon.

Teacher: What makes you think that?

Sammy: Because he was born just before Eve.

And Adam said,' 'Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me.''

And God said,' 'No problem! I will create a companion for you that will bewith you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will know I love you, even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish and childish and unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself.''

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said,' 'But Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and all the good names are taken and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.''

And God said,' 'No problem! Because I have created this new more...