Adultery Jokes / Recent Jokes
A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldnt know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and hed stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do. The rabbi comes, and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few minutes, a woman comes in and says, Father, forgive me for I have sinned. The priest asks, What did you do? The woman says, I committed adultery. The priest says, How many times? And the woman replies, Three. Priest: Say two Hail Marys, put $5 in the box, and go and sin no more. A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says, Father forgive me for I have sinned. What did you do? I committed adultery. r How many times? Three times. The priest says, Say two Hail Marys, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more. The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks hes got it, so the priest more...
An old priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery.
During one Sunday's sermon he told them, "If one more person confesses to adultery, I'll quit!"
Since everyone liked him, they decided to use a code word: "fallen."
From then on, anyone who had committed adultery said they had "fallen."
This satisfied the old priest and the parishioners, and everything was fine for years, until finally the old priest passed away at the ripe old age of 93.
Shortly after the new young priest settled in, he paid a call on the mayor. The priest was quite concerned. "You have to do something about the sidewalks in this town, Mayor. You can't believe how many people come into the confessional talking about having fallen!"
The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had explained their code word to the new priest.
But before the mayor could explain, the priest shook his finger at the mayor and said -
"I more...
A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do. The rabbi comes, and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few minutes, a woman comes in and says,' Father, forgive me for I have sinned.' The priest asks,' What did you do?' The woman says,' I committed adultery.' The priest says,' How many times?' And the woman replies,' Three.' Priest:' Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box, and go and sin no more.' A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says,' Father forgive me for I have sinned.'' What did you do?' I committed adultery.' r' How many times?'' Three times.' The priest says,' Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more.' The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's more...
An old priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery.
During one Sunday's sermon he told them, "If one more person confesses
to adultery, I'll quit!"
Since everyone liked him, they decided to use a code word "fallen"
instead. From then on, anyone who had committed adultery said they had
"fallen." This satisfied the old priest and the parishioners, and
everything was fine for years, until finally the old priest passed
away at the ripe old age of 93.
Shortly after the new young priest settled in, he paid a call on the
mayor. The priest was quite concerned, "You have to do something about
the sidewalks in this town, Mayor. You can't believe how many people
come into the confessional talking about having fallen!"
The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had explained their
code word to the new priest.
But before the mayor could explain, the priest shook his finger at more...
Santa Joined The Priest And Then Followed Him Into The Confessional. A Few Minutes Later A Woman Came In And Said "Father, Forgive Me For I Have Sinned"
Priest: "What Did You Do?"
Woman: " I Committed Adultery"
Priest: "How Many Times?"
Woman: "Three Times"
Priest: "Say Two Hail Marys, Put $ 5. 00 In The Charity Box, And Sin No More"
A Few Minutes Later A Man Entered The Confessional. He Said
"Father, Forgive Me For I Have Sinned"
Priest: "What Did You Do?"
Man: "I Committed Adultery"
Priest: "How Many Times?"
Man: "Three Times"
Priest: "Say Two Hail Marys, Put $ 5. 00 In The Charity Box, And Sin No More"
Santa, A Quick Learner, Told The Priest That He Understood The Job And The Priest Could Leave.
Santa more...
A MAN who had lost his hat decided that the simplest way to replace it was to go to church and steal one from the cloakroom. Once inside, he heard a sermon on the Ten Commandments. Coming out, he was greeted by the minister and said to him,' I want you to know, Reverend, that you saved me from crime. I came here with sin in my heart. I was going to steal a hat, but after hearing your sermon I changed my mind.'
'Great/ exulted the minister.' Would you tell me what I said that led you to change your mind?'
'Well, Reverend, when you got to that part about "Thou shalt not commit adultery", I suddenly remembered where I had left my hat.'
Some of the things school kids write when they run out of steam while having to go for pass marks during exams make good reading, albeit perhaps painful for the language sticklers. Following are a few quoted "truths" from teacher Richard Lederer's book "More Anguished English":
Migration is a headache birds get when they fly south during winter
the Great Wall of China was built to keep out the Mongrels
the Seventh Commandment was Thou shalt not admit adultery
in Christianity a man can have only one wife. This is called monotony.
I have enjoyed my boyhood so much that I am looking forward to my adultery